i want to explicitly clarify that i have no affiliation with cevin key or skinny puppy whatsoever because there is apparently somebody upstairs that thinks my jjjjjjjjjj^2 record is going to be a new tear garden record. i'm going to try to contact ka-spel, artefact records and a few others. 

cevin key is a thief. he's a drug addict loser that steals everybody else's music. i've somehow been targeted. i think. 

i saw somebody in my garage about a year ago that looked startling like him, and i thought he was just a wannabe.

i've been struggling to understand what is going on here. i think it's beginning to become clear. i'm not letting this washed up old loser steal my music.

when pierre polievre claims that the problem with trudeau is not that he's too liberal but that he's actually deeply illiberal, he is correct. unfortunately, all evidence suggests that polievre is even less liberal than trudeau is. 

canada is a country with a deep history of liberal institutions and that has liberalism so thoroughly embedded in it's laws that it has lost the requirement of liberal political representation. it is not the case that canada has been overrun by "woke liberalism", it is the case that there is no longer anything remotely approximating liberalism in the political spectrum at all, because liberalism was so triumphant here in the 20th century that it lost it's political prerogative and faded away into cultural norms.

the result is that we have three parties, and they are all deeply illiberal, because you essentially have to react against the liberal institutions here to have any purpose in existing at all. polievre remains a figurehead for the radical right; a true conservative movement in canada would be about maintaining our liberal institutions. the ndp are a bourgeois socialist party and the liberals themselves are increasingly driven by culturally conservative critiques of the liberal status quo. 

taken as a whole, as illiberal as trudeau is, he remains the least illiberal of the three, and that is a problem that canadians are going to need to grapple with, lest they wake up one day in a different culture, without realizing it ever happened.

i would strongly suspect that the test incursion into iran by israel yesterday was a data gathering exercise rather than a retaliatory strike. it would be rational to expect the israelis to test iran's defenses as a preliminary step rather than just start shooting missiles.

that said, did i say 100 missiles for tit-for-tat? i meant 350 missiles. those 350 missiles need not all land in iran; indeed, israel's self-interest would suggest most of them should be targeted at hezbollah. that is a large balance for israeli payback still to come, nonetheless.

it's not clear that there are 350 targets in iran worth hitting. it is clear there are 350 targets in lebanon worth hitting.

i am also disappointed by the disability tax credit's $200/month, which it does not appear as though i will qualify for because i don't have a disability tax credit. somebody needs to explain to ms. freeland that she missed the point of the legislation; i would not consider this to be a response to the legislation, and would expect further steps from the government, perhaps after a change in finance minister.

however, i've been trying to get the idea across for quite a long time that the primary issue facing disabled people in this country is not a lack of income but a lack of subsidized housing. it is not a good idea to just give us more money and tell us to go spend it in the market. there is  a distinct lack of infrastructure in this country regarding housing for those with disabilities.

if you give me more money, some rentier (like my landlord) will find a way to take it from me and, in the end, it's just another corporate handout to the rentier class. state aid should be structural and not in the form of bursaries.

so, yes, i agree that it's not what i was hoping for, but energy is better spent getting more subsidized housing built, anyways. this is a problem the society needs to build it's way out of, not one it should throw money at.

i remember when the united states published it's missile defense plans and showed everybody that the wreckage would fall harmlessly, outside of america's borders. somebody had to explain to dubya that the map showed a direct hit on the canadian city of edmonton, as collateral damage.

the kingdom of jordan has been very clear regarding it's motive in shooting down iranian missiles: it was to protect it's airspace. this ought to be read literally, as the jordanians had the choice of shooting these projectiles down outside of jordan or watching the united states and israel shoot them down inside jordan, with jordanian citizens as collateral damage.

the speaker of the ontario legislature is correct to ban the keffiyeh during debates. it is customary in british-canadian culture that political symbols not be worn during debates. i applaud the speaker for enforcing british canadian cultural values within british canadian political institutions. foreigners should be expected to follow our rules and conform to our culture, not the other way around.

that said, i also understand that this decision is being made within the context of certain laws being passed in quebec, which, as is so often the case, is ahead of the rest of the country. i have been making the argument for many years that the hijab is a political symbol and should be banned from the public sector workforce for that precise, exact reason. while it would not exactly by a ballot issue for me, i would like to see ontario adopt some of the laws that quebec has recently adopted regarding religious symbols in the workplace. perhaps this is a first step towards that desired and inevitable (and correct, in a secular society) end point.

the iranian strike on israel, as unsuccessful as it appears to have been, is a major escalation that requires a proportionate response. a proportionate response would certainly be a tit-for-tat retaliation, which i might propose as a dominant strategy. the israeli military knows it's game theory. iran does not have anything remotely similar to the same defence capabilities, and a strike of this size would consequently do severe damage to the islamo-fascist "republic" of iran. israel now essentially has an excuse to send 100 or so missiles into iran, at targets that are at it's discretion. i might suggest taking out the fucking ayatollah.

i think the biden administration is making a pr error in taking a step away from israel's response. there is a loud and vocal and well-financed and powerful arab-american lobby in the united states that tends to get what it wants, but it does not represent popular opinion. the biden administration may find the polling shocking, but it's a reflection of it's own incompetence. i would expect massive popular support for an american strike on iran, and for it to cross into both parties. i'd guess 80-85% of americans would support nato bombing in retaliation.

i was exceedingly vocally opposed to the attack on iraq in 2003, but i've tended to be cautiously in favour of military-backed regime change in iran. this is going to come up. the situations are not only not comparable, they are diametrically opposite; iraq was a secular society (run by an asshole dictator, but secular nonetheless) and the only opposition on the ground was religious, whereas iran is a fascist theocracy with a secular opposition movement that could use some air support. i'd be happy to provide a secular and liberal movement on the ground in iran with air support, and i think they can win if we give them it.

however, i expect biden and his cronies to avoid such things with a ten foot pole. the 2003 iraq war remains formative in the post-bush years; biden was a part of the obama administration. obama then thoroughly screwed up iran and nobody wants to deal with it. regime change in iran will require generational change.

as it is, i don't expect israel will require american backing to carry out a vicious tit-for-tat strike, and that should be it's immediate focus. if iran wants to get uppity, israel is going to need to smack it down and show it it's place.

take note of this fact: the russians don't even try to retaliate against israel in syria, because they know they're beat before it starts. iran has russian missile defense systems that are essentially the same as the ones in syria. israel can do what it will in iranian airspace, at will.

for this particular issue, throwing money at government bureaucracy is precisely what is required to solve the problem, as the root cause is a collapse of government bureaucracy in the first place.

that said, the language from the minister makes it clear that this is an election promise and that it probably won't go anywhere.

i'm going to suggest something else: we need ndp governments across the country at the provincial level to deal with housing. it's imperative.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/liberals-release-plan-to-solve-the-housing-crisis-branding-it-as-a-call-to-action-1.6844545

we're trained to act as though all life is sacred and every second matters, and some of us want to bring silly ideas like god into it, but perhaps what we're learning from asking people with poor qualities of life what they actually want is that this value system is in truth deeply flawed.

conservatives are focused on quantity of life and freaking out about people choosing death over life, but the constant in these deaths is extremely poor quality of life. 

maybe the fundamentalists should stop speaking and start listening.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/assisted-death-quadriplegic-quebec-man-er-bed-sore-1.7171209

there's a fair amount of evidence in front of us, and i think ms. qualtrough would make a far better prime minister than ms. freeland.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/overwhelming-support-for-disability-benefit-complicated-by-slow-implementation-survey-finds-1.6837126

we legitimately need a zombie-vampire flick about jesus, ala life of brian, that uses the new testament as the primary script, complete with gore-filled depictions of the crucifixion. in the end, zombie-vampire jesus should come back to have his revenge on the common soldiery.

i also want a scene where he's having gay group sex with his disciples and makes a bad pun about the second cumming.

i actually don't want to come down on a side in this debate about fourplexes. it seems like a good idea to enforce fourplexes as a right until you stop to do the actual math and realize that it wouldn't even actually help.

we don't need fourplexes, we need massive skyscrapers. we need to be building up; way up.

if the government wants us to be as populated as megacities like london and new york, we're going to have to build like london and new york, and (with the single exception of the very downtown core of toronto), we just don't. we think it's not canadian to have that kind of urban density.

well, the population is growing very fast and nobody wants to live in permafrost, alberta. our government made the choice to overpopulate us. now, we have to start building skyscrapers, not fourplexes.

there's a weird narrative that the issue in rafah has to do with the saudis protecting the palestinians. that's odd, as the saudis have never tried to protect the palestinians before.

this guy sisi, however, is a puppet of the saudis, and they would be interested in maintaining stability in egypt, which may be where the arab revolution to overthrow islam eventually happens, one day. egypt is a brutal dictatorship but it's a relatively secular society, and it has to be by popular demand. this shadow caliphate in riyadh wants to keep egypt under control.

but, in fact, the primary concern of the saudis would not be in protecting palestine from israel but rather in ejecting the iranian proxy that is hamas from the mediterranean. the saudis would need to obscure it a little, but their primary rival and enemy is iran, not israel. the saudis and israelis would actually be expected to have common cause in wiping out hamas, but the saudis don't want to destabilize egypt.

i would consequently be skeptical about this idea that the october attack was about trying to undo the saudi-israeli detente, as hamas is a common enemy of the saudis and israel, and the alliance against iran was what the detente was supposed to be about. if anything, what's happening might be better described as the first step of the aforementioned detente, which is something the americans would seek to prevent (as it would upset the balance of power and complicate their strategy of divide and conquer).

the absolute last thing in the world that the americans would want is an alliance between israel and saudi arabia.

jesus was a zombie and a vampire.

that's next level. no wonder people worshiped him.

it's that time of the year, but i was busy and didn't notice it.

it's relatively obvious that the united states orchestrated the recent bombing in moscow. when the united states pulled out of afghanistan, i pondered whether the intent was to use afghanistan as a front to destabilize the russians (and chinese) and that seems to have been the correct analysis in the end. these are operations that the cia wants to keep a distance from, and an afghan terror group is the perfect cover for it. this is unlikely to be the last isis attack on russia, and i'd expect some inside china in the near future.

basically, the united states is trying to draw russia back into afghanistan, which actually indicates somewhat of an intelligence failure because putin isn't the godless communist his predecessors were but actually somewhat of a conservative that actually agrees with the harsh brutality of religious fundamentalism. he doesn't want to pick a fight with the muslims at all. hence putin's attempt to blame it on ukrainians.

the russians need to figure out how to counterattack. they're starting to look like chumps.

i strongly support suicide rights and think this is the right legal decision.

however, the situation is a little bit fishy to me. if the woman is as capable as suggested, she ought to just kill herself, if she really wants to. it's a diagnosis from a distance, but it actually strikes me as a call for help, or perhaps for attention.

maybe this woman is of sound mind, but some other person in the same context might not be and the situation does suggest some deeper level of oversight is required. the doctors should be able to explain their decision to somebody on request.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-maid-father-daughter-court-injunction-judicial-review-decision-1.7154794

this demand for 700 prisoners by hamas indicates that they have no understanding of what they're facing. it truly is delusional.

not only will there not be 700 prisoners released, but all remaining hamas fighters in rafah will either be captured and imprisoned or killed.

there's not going to be a hamas after this.

like, they're calling for a ceasefire. they don't get it. a ceasefire suggests a continuation of the war later on. that is delusional. this is the end; they've lost, the war is over.

israel should be explicit in calling for hamas to surrender.

i can guess hamas' response:

(and, of course, hamas are exactly the kind of fucking creeps that wear their sunglasses at night, too)

egypt should have taken on a greater level of responsibility in dealing with gaza decades ago and if it finds itself overwhelmed or destabilized it should acknowledge that it's the result of decades worth of negligent policy, take ownership of it's mistakes and seek to adjust for the future.

i would welcome the ability to use rent payments on credit reports.

however, i don't see what relevance that policy has to any of the substantive affordable housing supply concerns people are facing across the country.

there needs to be a clear understanding that we don't need more corporate childcare services but rather need to adjust the education system so that it eliminates the after school gap, which shouldn't exist. this is a systemic social problem and throwing money at babysitters is a bandaid solution, not a lasting one.

depending on age and jurisdiction, kids get out of school between 2:00 pm and 4:00 pm, whereas most people get off work between 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm, creating a gap of potentially up to four hours that needs to be filled in. there's no comprehensible reason this exists at all.

first, kids should be kept in classes until 4:30 pm, minimum, giving them up to a half hour to get home on the bus before 17:00. second, the schools themselves should offer seamless child care services for kids that have parents that work later than 17:00 or that need to call in on special occasions. 

ken dryden had a great plan to address this, and it's extremely disappointing that the liberals have caved to market pressure in adopting a private sector plan instead. i supported the dryden plan, but this $10/day childcare scheme just seems like a foolish non-solution. there's no reason to have separate childcare and education systems, they should be integrated seamlessly, and it should be run by the provinces.

i don't generally have fiscally conservative instincts, but wasting taxpayer money on babysitters strikes me as an exceedingly poor use of public funds that should be starkly criticized. this is an expensive and foolish approach to a problem that is being caused by school days that are simply too short.

listen, if you really hate what israel is doing, the answer is simple: boycott middle eastern oil.

if it wasn't for the oil wealth in the arab states, which is obscene, the united states wouldn't need to maintain a military base in the region. it's not exactly that simple, granted, but israel is not going to hold the sway in washington that it does now, once the world moves off of oil.

what i think is that gaza needs to be dismantled and hamas (along with all other like-thinking groups) needs to be obliterated and the israelis are actually doing the world a favour in getting their hands dirty actually doing it.

we're supposed to be concerned about palestinian civilians. hamas only kills jews every once in a while, they spend most of their time oppressing and slaughtering arabs for not being muslim enough. further, there hasn't been an election in gaza in almost 20 years and the area that the supposed civilians are being sequestered into voted for what i believe was a democratic socialist candidate, rather than the fascist hamas. it is true that hamas seized power in the region, never controlled substantive popular support and has been viciously oppressive against it's own population.

but, that's just the point. twenty years is enough time to get out, and it's enough time to radicalize those that don't. this division between hamas and the population is not so clear cut. if you're still there 20 years later, there's a reason for it, and the fiasco around unrwa demonstrates the point: hamas is a major employer in economically hopeless gaza. i believe that something like 30% of the population is employed by hamas, and roughly half is unemployed altogether and reliant on state aid provided by hamas. i've even heard hamas referred to as a religious charity. that's not a minority of bad apples, it's 70% of the trees in the fucking orchard.

it's harsh, but it's real, and the world will be better off for it, in the end. i'm more concerned about what happens after they level the place, and what plans are being put in place to repopulate and rebuild.

i'm sorry this is taking so long, but i'm trying to redesign a massive site while fighting off hackers and reconstructing a complex network with roughly 15 computers on it and dealing with some fucking losers that are drugging me with male hormones, for reasons i don't entirely understand.

i'm not having a good time, as of late. this is a shitty scenario and it could linger for quite some time before i'm able to get these pieces of shit thrown in jail.

america is nobody's friend - not canada's, not ukraine's and not israel's, either.

friendship cannot exist within capitalism; it's an impossibility.

what if the israelis decide this american protectorate thing isn't working for them anymore and decide to cozy up to the chinese, instead?

oops.

this symbolic statement wasn't worth it. it was foolish. heads need to roll.

are dhimmi joe and his binkie really so concerned about the lives of palestinians as to reverse decades of american policy?

the easy answer is that it's for domestic consumption, but the polls don't really support that analysis. while there is a vocal and well-funded pro-palestinian minority that has very right-wing politics and masquerades as liberals on the fake left, the overwhelming majority of americans remain dominantly pro-israel and in support of a ground operation in rafah. dhimmi joe and his binkie are acting against popular opinion in the united states, and not with it.

rather, there are clear geo-political reasons why the united states would oppose the elimination of gaza as a buffer state between israel and egypt, as it could lead to instability in the region. there is a peace treaty between egypt and israel but it's more like a mutual non-intervention agreement. the israelis don't bomb egypt the way they bomb syria or lebanon. further, the murderous dictatorial regime in egypt (which biden did and does back) is not very stable, and some instability could lead to internal revolts. much has been made of the broken saudi-israeli detente, but the saudis are more likely to be concerned about losing their client in egypt to a rival, like the russians.

the americans are so frequently pro-israel that it masks the reality that the actual middle eastern policy is barbarian management via divide and conquer. america seeks to maintain a series of perpetual conflicts in the region, to prevent any single actor from becoming dominant. america's shifting allegiances have to do with ensuring that the fighting never ends and nobody ever wins. a final victory by israel over hamas would consequently be a red line for american geostrategic interests, as it ends a conflict that is supposed to bog down israel into perpetuity and prevent them from expanding outwards.

i think, however, that binkie is misreading the israelis. binkie needs to remember that the jewish state is not what it used to be; today, israel is a fundamentalist theocracy, like all of the other states in the region. while it remains a democracy, it may not be one for much longer and it no longer has the characteristics of a western democracy, which include axioms like the paramount nature of free speech. israel is on a course to become the mirror-reflection of iran.

as bizarre and naive as it sounds, what israel wants is really limited to the promised land. a normal country may want to take advantage of the situation and move settlers into their conquered territories, but israel has been clear about the point for a long time: biblical gaza is where the philistines lived, and was neither in the heretic/hedonistic kingdom of israel nor the divinely protected (until it wasn't) kingdom of judea. the attack on rafah may be vicious, and the israelis may decide to leave troops on the ground (who would argue they shouldn't, after the october attacks?), but there is no imminent threat to the balance of power because the israelis will actually draw their own boundaries as minimal rather than maximal. 

the jews are weird. they always have been.

i'm consequently going to call for the resignation of linda thomas-greenfield, as allowing this resolution to pass was a substantive mistake and i'm going to call for binkie to resign as well, in an exercise of ministerial accountability.

lyin' brian is now a double entendre with a different meaning than it had previously.

hey, i waited until they buried the son of a bitch. 

the man was a horrific crook.

i hope the last words to him were something like "you died? dammit, brian. you had a choice! you had an option!".

i think that kate middleton had an abortion and has a new boyfriend, hence the abortion.

it's going to be an unpopular view right now, but history may decide differently; i think the israelis have no choice but to go into rafah to send the arab world a message that it can't do what hamas did. there can be no mercy. there can be no tolerance. israel has to be ruthless and has to be vicious in order to send a clear message and create a clear disincentive.

if you've seen the videos, they demonstrate....this was an extreme expression of the most brutal type of religious fundamentalism. i don't agree with islam's basic rules, but this was a step beyond. this made 7th century islam look moderate in comparison.

we didn't pause and ask whether isis deserved some level of mercy, we just finished them off, and we had to do that. we had to kill the women. we had to kill the children. the ideology is too perverse, too barbaric.

there's a broad disconnect between the propaganda coming from sources like al jazeera and how they want to frame the situation and the actual reality on the ground. this is an ideology that needs to be exterminated.

i don't generally find myself in agreement with netanyahu, but he's doing the world a favour in being a stubborn old fucking prick about this. it happens sometimes that the fucking rigid old men get it right.

the liberals should really flip the issue over on the conservatives and start running ads against them that accuse them of wanting to take away the carbon rebate.

i want this to be a reality check.

i'm a low income canadian; i live on odsp, and while i wish i sold more of my art, my sole source of actual income is a $1300/month odsp check.

every four months, i get a $100+ check as a carbon rebate. last year it was $122. it should be ~$20 more than that this year. i don't have a car (i couldn't afford one, but i actually don't want one), and i'm smart enough to know that the inflation we're experiencing is not substantively due to the carbon tax.

those $100+ checks have actually dramatically improved my quality of life and have actually helped me deal with inflation. $500-600/year is very helpful when your income is very low.

now, we can debate whether this policy is actually effective, and i would actually argue it hasn't been and won't be. that's not the point right now.

right now, we're dealing with a demagogue in parliament trying to argue that the carbon tax is harming low-income canadians, and the reality check needs to be that the exact opposite is true, that this $500/yr top-up on my disability is actually exceedingly helpful to me and that i'm actually overwhelmingly in favour of increasing the carbon tax as much as possible.

now, i understand that this might be bothersome to middle-income canadians that make enough money that they can spend a lot on gas, but that's the point. the policy is intended to penalize polluters and incentivize them to change. what the demagogue is demonstrating is that the policy isn't working; it is exactly those middle-income canadians that most need to change that are organizing to resist it and polls suggest, at the moment, that they would have a good chance of winning.

however, the policy is in truth very beneficial to actual low-income canadians, who generally don't have cars because they can't actually afford it. don't listen to this guy try to tell you otherwise.

the liberals think they lost the last two elections because they were too left wing, which is a false analysis. i'm actually skeptical of the election results; i think there was massive fraud. yet, to the extent that the conservatives did swing some votes in the last two elections, it had to do with (1) doug ford being popular amongst immigrant communities because immigrant voters tend to like aggressive male politicians, which is the antithesis of the liberal party at almost every level of government and (2) the liberals not being left-wing enough, and bleeding both working class and over-educated voters to the ndp, who offered a more convincing left of centre vision.

i think this is all very frustrating because i actually supported the mcguinty-wynne government as they passed a lot of very good bills. i have not supported the trudeau government because they keep passing horrible legislation. yet, the quality of legislation being debated is not a primary election issue for a large percentage of voters.

i couldn't vote for the last guy; i thought he was awful, and he didn't even win his seat, which is something i predicted the day he was elected leader of the party.  mimicking stephen harper is not going to win the liberal party of ontario any votes.

the liberals are going to have to acknowledge that the demographic changes in ontario over the last 20 years have placed them as the least favoured party amongst a large plurality of new voters who want charismatic and dominant male leaders and are going to have to adjust to that. bonnie crombie's angle is that she can dominate the ndp and the liberals are going to have to understand that they are fighting an election against the left, where there are voters they can swing, and not against the populist middle, which is currently out of their reach.

the rule in the west is that the kids of the immigrants conform, and the liberals may have better luck with second-generation canadians than first-generation canadians, as soon as they exist and can vote. however, they type of migrants moving to canada in recent decades is dramatically different than the type that came here decades ago, and that might be a false projection. we'll have to see.

for right now, the liberals need to be focused on trying to swing new democrats and if they don't realize that then they're going to get squeezed and scrunched and may in the end just end up merging with the conservatives.

https://www.thestar.com/politics/provincial/ontario-liberals-propose-tax-credit-for-childrens-sports-after-school-activities/article_1746162a-e640-11ee-9044-ef20edb861c2.html

there is an utterly pathetic woman at 1227 curry in windsor that is obsessed with me because she thinks i'm a "hot guy" and is drugging me because she wants to have sex with me. she's a delusional idiot; i'm a transgendered woman with no interest in using my penis with women or with men. i am getting srs done soon.

in fact, i'm extremely likely to beat the shit out of her if she doesn't leave very soon. i am not attracted to women, and all the drugs she is giving me are doing is making me angry and making me want to react violently.

i've tried everything and she won't stop, but she's going to get killed before she gets laid.

if you are also a pathetic loser that needs a girlfriend, please come and fuck her. she needs it. she's obsessive, she'll love you. then take her away from here.

i want to call on hamas to release all hostages immediately, or take full responsibility for what happens.

as the overwhelmingly superior military (beyond any question), israel had no choice but to annihilate them for their insolence when they decided to take hostages and demanded terms. this was utter stupidity by utterly stupid people. hamas is an inferior actor and they need to learn and accept their place.

they have a few days left to release the hostages before they're wiped off the planet, which is the correct outcome if they refuse to.

i'm still struggling with securing my network, and the long promised complete overhaul of this site is imminent, but i want to stop for a second to talk about this "online harms" bill, as i would be a potential primary target of the government.

there's been some expected analysis from your typical free-speech conservatives, like margaret atwood (who americans don't seem to understand is a right-winger in canada) who are mostly concerned that the government is trying to attack christians, which is largely paranoid nonsense that comes through a conservative party propaganda filter. the idea that speech restriction laws are an attack on christians is something that right-wing politicians promote in order to raise money from their base. there's absolutely no empirical basis for the claim, no history of the government attacking christians and no evidence that this is what trudeau cares about doing. in fact, trudeau is the most pro-religion liberal prime minister since the 1800s and has a distinctly social conservative streak. unlike his father, he's been vocal about his belief in "religious rights". on this issue, he sounds more like his father's opponents than he does like his father.

in response, the government has tried to suggest that the law will be moderate and the judges will react proportionally. if the response is alarmist because it promotes potential for abuse, and perhaps it is, and it certainly does, the government is trying to calm people down by essentially arguing that the judges won't actually enforce the law anyways, and there consequently isn't anything to worry about.

i'm concerned about the nature of the discourse, because this is in fact a scary law and it does in fact threaten to infringe on your rights and freedoms but the narrative being framed - that it's an attack on christianity, and christians don't need to worry - has no basis in reality and threatens to merely obfuscate the issue. in fact, most people would be perfectly happy to pass laws telling christians to shut up and fuck off because most people despise christians and are annoyed by the constant attempts of christians to interfere in their personal decisions. this framing is likely to generate support for the law, not opposition to it. this issue needs to be reclaimed by real liberals and actual speech activists and reframed in terms of actually real and actually realistic concerns. 

anybody living in reality should be able to instantly see that this law, which is being written and advanced by a muslim, is intended primarily to "protect" muslims from criticism. this isn't an attack on christianity, it's the first step in a back door imposition of sharia law.

the reality is that i detest islam. i detest islamic values, i detest islamic beliefs, i detest islamic behaviours and i detest islamic culture. i don't like them, i don't like what they believe and i don't like how they act. what is the government trying to tell me in passing this law, ordering me that i'm not allowed to detest somebody?

am i supposed to just pretend that i like them?

am i supposed to just be quiet, as more and more of these sorts of law pass, and my rights and freedoms are slowly chipped away at?

i'm going to be naive. i'm going to pretend that there isn't some plan here, and that this isn't the start of the islamic colonization of canada. remember: muslims are not a victim of colonization, muslims invented colonialism. islam is a racist colonial system of hierarchical dominance and violent control, which is exactly what our leaders in the west wish they had. 

when somebody tells you they detest and dislike you, it seems to me that you have two potential reactions. you might decide you don't care, which is what i would do; if somebody told me they detested me, i'd tell them to fuck off and go kill themselves. the other choice is that you might decide that you do care, listen to the reasons you're detested and try to change yourself so that you're no longer detested. the reasons that islam is detested by some, including myself, are absolutely valid. islam is a horrible system of thought and it needs to drastically alter itself to avoid being detested.

ordering me not to detest you is just providing evidence as to why i detest you in the first place.

i expect in the end that the courts will uphold my right to detest people, but the bill needs to be challenged, and not by the christian right and not via the framing of their delusions of oppression. let's understand what the bill actually is and challenge it's actual goals on actual face value. if we let margaret atwood and jordan peterson do this, we're going to lose.

atwood has repeatedly rejected and denounced any interpretation of the handmaid's tale that attempts to tie it to an attempt at islamic colonization of america, despite it being an obvious satire of the iranian revolution. i'm not sure if she's commented on that point, but what the novel is is an attempt to imagine what would happen if an iranian revolution happened in the united states, which was not a crazy idea in the early 1980s, in the context of the rise of the moral majority and the political dominance of reaganism. the parallels are too heavy-handed; it's not debatable. she doesn't like these comparisons, though, and insists it's strictly a canadian fantasy, from an evolved loyalist perspective. ok.

but, she's missing the point of her own text, because she's old. i semi-recently saw a debate between chomsky and right-wing israeli, where he utterly failed to draw the connection to manufacturing consent, because he's been half there for 20 years, and might only be a quarter there nowadays.

hitchens died too young, and it was his own fucking fault, but this speech should be the starting point in opposing the online harms bill, as he nails it fifteen years before it happened.

here's a distraction we can all appreciate:

it seems like sean is reforming rabit is wolf, and is trying to steal my studio and take credit for my music in the process. what a pathetic loser.

as stated repeatedly over many fora, sean's contribution to my discography is strictly limited to a handful of guest vocal tracks on a small number of demos. sean barely deserves co-writing credits for even the rabit is wolf material, and had no influence at all on the inri material or the trivial group material. sean did not write or perform a single section on a single instrument, and in fact doesn't know how to play any instrument. in fact, he can't even sing; he's horribly tone deaf, which is why i auto-tuned and pitch-shifted and digitally altered his vocals and then ran them through effects. he couldn't hit a middle c if you put a gun to his head.

sean is very good at video games, but he's not good at music. he's simply not a musician.

jon wanted sean to sing because he thought he looked like a singer, but then he bailed and left me to deal with him. we did a few demos and went our separate ways. i finished the material years later by myself (and i wrote it and performed it by myself). this is consequently really jon's fault. i wouldn't have these demos with sean singing on them, otherwise.

as it is, those demos are currently not streaming at my bandcamp site and i may have to take them down altogether. nor am i going to give sean permission to host music with me performing on it, if he's going to act like he's acting. right now, it looks like the demos are going to get permanently unpublished and the finished instrumental versions will be the only thing available; right now, it seems like sean is just going to get completely canceled, and that i'm going to remove all references to him altogether.

i would consequently invite sean to consider covering the following foofighters track as the first new rabit is wolf song.

ugh.

things are changing.

i'm working on it.

i just bought an entry-level hardware firewall with no wireless.

 

my network is designed for use, not to keep out loser gamer boys that want to set up servers for bitcoins. eww. my routers have no firewalls at all.

i don't know if it will work or not. i set up a security camera, and they just walk in and turn it off.

i'll have to experiment. at the least, it should help me better understand what they're doing and help me actually catch them.

ugh.

they just somehow managed to kill the mft on an sd card i had pictures on. everything's recovered. that's not the point.

i had essentially all of my pictures from last year disappear, and i felt like they were stolen but wasn't sure. it might have been a system error. it's more clear now what is going on.

my neighbours are trying to steal my pictures, and succeeded in stealing a lot of them last year. i don't quite know why yet, but it seems like they want to present them as picture of themselves. they may be trying to sell them, and there may be some prostitution involved.

this is utterly pathetic, but it's the reality i'm living through, as my landlord systematically attempts to steal my identity.

some new pictures, where i'm finally starting to look a little more like myself. it should be a strawbery blondish and i expect chinnish or longer by early to mid may.

i shoud have cleaned the mirror, but i'm still experimenting with things like exposure levels on a couple of new devices. these pictures are taken on the music device. there's a few coming up that were taken on the new vlog camera, which have greater exposure. 

video:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/RkGEZFNDoLqw7hsy9

the download is still going.

i'm not a hacker. i have an entry level programming degree, which means i can write basic applications in c and java and have been introduced to different approaches to programming, like that found in scheme or lisp. i have no experience with modern languages like python or ruby and would not be able to keep up in a conversation about new programming languages. i have minimal experience with non-windows operating systems. the programming degree was degree #2, and was taken in a cynical move to find employment, which i realized was a mistake precisely because i'm not a computer nerd in that sense. i'm an artist, author, musician, etc that uses computers to construct their art, but i'm not into gaming or scripting or anything of the sort.

i get the impression that my small internet following thinks something different, and all i can say is that i'm aware that i have this audience in the dark web that thinks i'm some kind of next-level guru but that the truth is that i'm a human being that can only absorb so much knowledge and can only know so much about so many things. hacking is not my thing, i would consider it tedious and boring. it follows that i'm actually an easy target in a lot of ways, because i have no interest in or experience with this kind of thing but am rather strictly interested in creating and distributing art. i don't want to fight over property on a network, that's fucking boring.

however, the fact that i spend so much time in front of a computer and that i do have some background in programming means i'm likely to learn and adjust much faster than most people. i might be an easy target to begin with, but i'm going to put up a fight, too, with the intent ultimately to catch the fuckers and throw them in jail rather than win some kind of turf war. if i catch you hacking me and can prove who you are, i'm not going to post P4NED!!! on a message board somewhere, i'm going to call the cops and have you thrown in jail as long as i can get you thrown in jail for. i have no tolerance for this kind of harassment, as there is no place for it in a free society.

i'm pretty sure that the attack vector that the hacker (who lives upstairs, i'm certain) is using is a cr-lf injection attack:

https://owasp.org/www-community/vulnerabilities/CRLF_Injection

what they've been doing is managing to steal my passwords as i'm updating them by writing to my passwords file via the cr-lf attack, which they know i have because they have a camera in my apartment and are watching me all of the time. the attack they're using is buggy, as i've found it by pulling binary symbols out of my passwords list that must have been inserted via the injection attack itself, but what they're trying to do is keep my passwords list static while they get the new, updated versions. 

so, let's say i go to update my amazon password. if they manage to "get me", what happens is that my passwords list reverts to the previous password, while they steal the new one. then, they have my new password, and i only have the previous one.

i've been able to recover everything except one gmail account because i've had previous passwords and recovery options. but, this has been a frustrating pain in the ass for weeks, now, and i don't know what to do except avoid it.

the solution, from my end, is to make sure that i don't past any cr-lf characters anywhere. ever. at all. i'm bouncing back and forth between windows and linux machines recently, so this is a real concern.

i also need to put a call out to major servers like google and bandcamp to update their servers to stop this from happening. i can only do so much, as a user, in the face of an overwhelming assault. the problem is ultimately on their end and not mine.

i'm trying to get the cops involved, but i need to get them evidence, and i'm in a catch-22 around it.

yeah, it ran out of space on a 30 gb partition.

let me try an 80 gb external drive.

this website is apparently over 10 gb of text. as i'm using an old computer to mirror it, i had to retry the mirror by moving it to a secondary drive and i may have to use an external drive for a third attempt. this is unexpected, to say the least.

a while back, i posted that i wanted a way to upload a pdf file to a website to mail it and i found it:

www.postgrid.com

i just received my first letter mailed to myself, which is a packing label for a sendle pickup (as the price of fedex was crazy and canada post wouldn't let me sign in). this is how i'll mail my taxes this year, as well.

i want to be clear about this point when this is over.

i don't want to live with young people. i don't want to live in a party house. i don't want to live with drug addicts, drunks or smokers. i don't like there to be loud music or drug or alcohol use in my living space. i want the place that i live to be very clean and very boring, because the place that i live is the place that i learn, read and work. i do not party in the place that i live and very explicitly do not want to, i need that separation space.

i need to live alone. i do not want to have a partner. at all. ever.

please do not go looking for me in real life, as if i am not out and about it's because i don't want to be. i am a deep introvert that needs alone time away from human beings. i am not outgoing. i don't like to hang out. i am standoffiish and cold and rude. i need to be completey by myself for 19 out of 20 days of the month in order to enjoy being social for the one day, and if i can't have the time to recharge by myself then i won't want to spend time with people at all.

i'm a reclusve artist that needs to be alone.

i don't want you to come find me.

fuck off. go away.

i've published posts like this before.

the way the internet works right now is such that you can't trust anything or anybody. what was once seen as a means to perpetuate radical democracy, and perhaps was for a time, has become a tool of oppression and control. a blog like this cannot exist.

i don't know who is upstairs trying to control me. it suspect it could be the mob. it might be the russians. it might be an arab group, like the saudis. it might be the liberal party of canada. i have targeted a lot of people and organizations and made a lot of enemies, but it's always been in the name of open free speech. i'm reasonable and analytical, but that's the problem.

don't post political writing on the internet anymore.

type offline and distribute pamphlets.

i'm temporarily reposting what is left of this blog to mirror it locally. i will eventually need to remove this blog entirely, as it's been targeted by fraudsters, thieves, liars and scam artists.

the writing coming back up has been heavily vandalized; i cannot post here, the site is not secure. some combination of people i used to know thinks they have same authority to vandalize my art and nothing is apparently going to stop them. they have made it clear to me over the last few months that they delusionally believe that they own me and can do what they want with me.

any posts that don't come back up have already been removed and have been archived. i will need to unvandalize them as best as i can as i recombine them into a forward-flowing, readable document and they will be republished in a different format when i'm done. clearly, i don't have the time or interest to blog the way i used to, and it's largely because i'm being constantly hacked and vandalized by these fucking losers from my past that won't go away.

what is being temporarily republished here will be unpublished again as soon as i can pull it down.

there's a reason that israel is clearing out rafah, and it's hard to argue with it.

an evacuation route needs to be created and those evacuating need to comprehend that they will likely never be allowed to come back.

israel needed a heavy-handed response to get the point across that it won't ignore what happened. let this be a lesson to whatever remains of palestine when this is over with.

life's been awful, as i've been stuck with a full time job protecting my internet presence from being stolen by thieves upstairs that are ghosts from a past life. this is a nightmare scenario.

i'm currently downloading everything i can in the case that i have to rebuild, and i might.

i've been talking about the need to redesign everything from scratch for quite a while anyways and have been spending all of my time strategizing how to do so. i may actually lose access to everything very soon, which may force me to radically reapproach how i present my art.

i don't know if this is a serious attempt at theft or some kind of stupid game. i don't know if it's the unwanted editor appearing in real life, but i think that it is. i don't know if these people want to actually steal things from me or if they're trying to control me or if they're some kind of psychotic lurker.

i consequently don't know if this is going to require a hefty legal response from me or if the issue goes away over time.

i know that i need to take everything down and put it away somewhere safe and i know that when it comes back up it's going to be in a radically different format.

that is what i'm doing right now, i'm biting and clawing to protect my internet presence from being stolen in an aggressive and illegal takeover that is being orchestrated by my new landlord, in collusion with a lot of people i used to know.

it's becoming increasingly clear that the person trying to steal my internet presence is sean hansel and that it may be the case that he's been impersonating me online for years. he may have misled a lot of people. he seems to need some help.

this blog is written by myself, who has:

1) legal name: jessica parent

2) screen name: jessica murray (mother's maiden name, murray) or jessica amber murray

3) birth name: jason parent.

i am a post-op transfemale that has been on chemical hormones non-stop since 2008.

i run all of the blogs on the side.

i own all of the youtube accounts on the side and am the director and subject of all of the vlogs.

i run all of the bandcamp sites linked from:

inrirecords.bandcamp.com

i was and still am the owner of the jessica amber murray facebook page before i stopped using it.

i am inri, i am dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja, i am deathtokoalas and i am all the other usernames on the side and linked out to from the site.

all of the pictures in the photo archive are of me.

sean did some guest vocals on some demo tracks on five or six songs in 2002 that were finished as instrumentals years later. he did not write these songs, and had minimal contributions to them besides the guest vocals. 

i haven't spoken to sean since roughly 2010. i have tried to send him business emails related to the music and he has not responded. it's not clear to me whether he's maliciously lying to people or has lost his mind and actually believes he wrote my music and is otherwise the author of my various art.

somebody tried to take down my bandcamp site on thursday by claiming i was a "fraud", which disabled the sites as a prevention mechanism for further tampering. the site is back up and i seem to be ok.

i need to be abundantly clear that all of the pictures at all of my sites are of me and all of the music (including all of the vocals, excluding a handful of songs) is by me and all of the writing is by me. i can prove this.

i'm not the fraud, in context, i'm a victim of identity theft in slow motion, and of a criminal justice system that is so far behind the technology that i have to watch these bumbling idiots screw up fifteen times and then actually eventually succeed before i can react, legally. i know exactly what they're doing, but the police won't intervene until they actually do it. there is no such thing as "attempted cybercrime" or "attempted identity theft".

the people making these claims are post-truth nihilists and pathological liars that are connected to the guest vocalist i used for a few months in 2002, who is apparently trying to take credit for my art and has managed to convince some gullible young women. this would appear to be more about their sexual relationship than any sort of actual facts. i care about facts, i don't care about sex. facts always win in the end, even if lies can create immense havoc.

they are going to keep trying to steal my art and i will need to keep fighting them off. please be aware that this is occurring and that some dishonest people are taking credit for things they didn't actually do.

the parliament of canada should be held in contempt of court. this is a black and white s. 7 issue.

people are going to need to start breaking the law, i guess.

https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/news/2024/02/the-government-of-canada-introduces-legislation-to-delay-medical-assistance-in-dying-expansion-by-3-years.html

my legal name is jessica.

don't listen to people suggesting otherwise, they're lying to you in an attempt to steal things that belong to me.

i can acknowledge that a large percentage of trans kids will change their mind, but i don't think that's a good reason to stop them. when i was a kid, i planned to transition when i was older because i knew my family wouldn't support it; it was something that required a long-term strategy, and i didn't really get it in place until i was almost 30. yet, i also wanted to be a neurosurgeon when i was 10. i wanted to be a school teacher in my late teens, and regret the time i wasted studying math for that purpose; going to university to become a teacher was a huge mistake and an utter waste of time. we don't have laws preventing people from making mistakes, in general. it's ironic that these arguments are coming from self-identified libertarians, because it's actually nanny-state despotism to write laws to stop people from making mistakes. conversely, i wish i had talked to somebody about transitioning younger, because not transitioning (by putting it off) was also a mistake.

it seems like enlightened despotism to stop kids from making mistakes, until you realize it's arbitrary. transitioning young might be a mistake; waiting might be a mistake. going to school might be a mistake, or dropping out might be a mistake. getting married or dating whatever kid or a million other things might be mistakes. that's how kids learn, you have to let them make their own mistakes. on second glance, the truth asserts itself: it's authoritarian totalitarianism.

it's up to adults to provide information and support to kids to help them make the decisions they truly want, not to make decisions for them. adults should never make decisions for children, they should only act as support structures to allow the children to make decisions for themselves.

this is a major shift in the rhetoric from the israeli right (which has previously argued that gaza is the biblical philistine area), and while i'm not exactly going along with it, it's hard to comprehend exactly what hamas expected when it decided to rape and mutilate 2000 young women in broad daylight. if it's an overly broad sentence, it's not by much.

the refrain from the left has long been proportionate responses, and my position is that a proportionate response to this attack is necessarily pretty vicious and angry. 

i'm a responsible secularist and i know better than this, but i also see the justice in it. it really would serve them right to get wiped right out of the region. 

israel used to be a very secular, left-wing society but it was forced to change by the rise of islamic extremism and is now one of the most conservative societies in the world. the palestinians brought this on themselves; gaza may get what it deserves.

a better idea would be a very serious discussion about having gaza annexed by egypt, with an ultimatum that israel is going to move in if egypt doesn't take control.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/israel-gaza-hamas-netanyahu-biden-1.7099090

essentially all of the pictures on all of my websites are exclusively of myself (jessica), and the very small number of exceptions are very clearly marked.

anybody trying to mislead you otherwise is simply lying to you.

my understanding is that unrwa is a major employer in gaza, which has an aid-reliant economy.

it's certainly shocking to hear that un workers were involved in the carnage, but i haven't seen any evidence that it was organized by unrwa management or any good argument to blame unrwa itself for what happened. if the concern is that it's been infiltrated by hamas, that is a broad concern that needs to be more coherently addressed; hamas needs to be destroyed, but unrwa is, on it's face, a secular aid organization and the kind of group that should be funded to counter islamicist influence. the american right has been keying on this group for decades and the fact that it isn't christian probably is a key part of that.

state funding in the levant should go strictly to secularist, non-faith groups in order to incentivize them to move away from their faith and the un is the right body to organize those groups.

the liberal party of canada doesn't believe in free speech and it's an increasingly worrying problem.

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/tucker-carlson-canada-alberta-premier-193503411.html

the icj asked israel to try not to break the law.

ok.

my mother has to understand that i don't love her and don't want her in my life. i have no obligation to love or care for my mother, and my mother does not deserve reciprocal care, as she did not provide me any. she deserves to die alone in a homeless shelter.

she's a slow learner, apparently.

it's imperative that i'm as rude and hostile with her as i possibly can be to ensure that she never tries to contact me ever again.

the orchiectomy hasn't resulted in the outcome i desired, so i've made the decision to call around on monday about taking the next step, which is a vaginoplasty.

there's two reasons i intended to avoid a vaginoplasty. the first is that i wanted to live a life as a female and go out and have fun, not spend my life in therapy. i have no respect whatsoever for psychiatry; i think it's abject pseudoscience, total quackery. i consider therapy to be a stupid waste of time. yet, it's required to get surgery, and in fact a large amount of it is required, and it's quite deep. i am not looking forward to it. the second is that i'm generally risk averse. this is a substantive surgery and something might go wrong. i don't need it the way a person needs surgery to remove a tumour, for example.

i thought that just cutting my balls off would have the effect i wanted.

i think that the reason it hasn't worked is that i'm being drugged, but i'm nonetheless exasperated. i can't get people to leave me alone and i'm fed up. i need to just chop it off and be done with it and tell the retards to go bother somebody else.

what's happening in the west bank with the settlements is a genocide in slow motion, but the israelis have been abundantly clear that they don't want settlements in gaza because it's outside of historical judaea. gaza is where the philistines, a greek tribe that settled in the region during the bronze age collapse and is the etymological source of the term palestine, were from. there weren't jews in gaza during the biblical period.

that sounds crazy and it certainly is but it's also the reality of it. israel is happy to pile bodies into gaza like a prison, but it doesn't want control of it. unfortunately, what they learned in october is that that isn't sustainable and that they're going to need to assert more control over the region to maintain security at the border. the operation in gaza is best described as a police action, not a war or a genocide,

the way you phrase these questions is imperative if you want a ruling in your favour and my interpretation is that south africa flubbed the prosecution by making it about gaza instead of the west bank. yet, this is really a political ploy intended for home role south africans, who have seen minimal increases in their quality of life since the end of white rule. it turns out south africa wasn't about race after all, it was about class. this is a distraction tactic intended for internal consumption.

i think they should convert the palestinians back to judaism, as a start, and those that insist on fighting israel to the death deserve to die. this is a culture with no future.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/jan/24/icj-to-deliver-interim-ruling-on-genocide-case-against-israel-on-friday

that's right, it was a fascist attack by thugs and bullies called police officers on the right to freedom of assembly with no justification whatsoever.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/emergencies-act-federal-court-1.7091891

this is horrific, and i hope the whole council gets fired over it.

https://windsor.ctvnews.ca/windsor-waiting-for-final-decision-on-housing-accelerator-fund-application-1.6739723

i think there were a lot of stupid things said about donald trump after 2016. particularly, i'm referring to the idea that trump is some kind of a scary dictator. you can say a lot of mean things about trump that are true, but it's rather objectively clear that he's not particularly authoritarian. trump is less authoritarian than most republicans and less likely to pass arcane laws trying to tell you what to do, but the problem lies in his broad level of disinterest in civil rights one way or another. trump might not care what you do or don't do, but he'll quickly negotiate civil rights for a financial interest. it was the supreme court that banned abortion at the state level, and even that required a negotiated trade from donald trump.

this is different than a bush-cheney type affair and more like the cluelessness of reagan. reagan was scary because he was stupid, not because he was evil. in fact, biden is the insider with the cia connections and the deep state roots. trump is certainly concerning, but he's concerning in his disinterest rather than his desire to control. he likely couldn't figure out how to hurt you if he wanted to. i'm not afraid of donald trump the way i was afraid of bush.

i would rather they run somebody else because i think biden is a catastrophe that needs to be removed from office and trump is no solution to that problem. i did not endorse a candidate in 2020 and will not endorse a candidate in a rematch. however, while i don't like any of these candidates, i might endorse haley to get rid of biden. i am a sickle-waving, card-carrying communist, i'm not a conservative or a republican, but i realize how scary biden is and would want to vote against him any responsible way i could. they all suck, but haley is a better choice than biden and a better choice than harris.

moderate republicans have a chance to take control, here, and they should.

nikki haley actually now has a serious path to the republican nomination.

i think i'm officially in need of getting out of the house, as i'm experiencing something between synesthesia and second-hand meth psychosis, which is roughly described as hearing the various appliances make harmonic music with each other. it's quite odd, but strangely compelling in a post-eno manner.

post-eno.

i've spent most of my life denying i'm going crazy.

this time, however, the suggestion may be grounded.

this is long overdue, so why was it never a private member's bill?

https://globalnews.ca/news/10238085/canada-housing-renoviction-ban/

i just want to clarify a point.

the people that moved in / hang out upstairs in my house are not my friends. in fact, they're objectively the biggest losers in town. there's something like five 30 or 40 somethings that want to start a club get fucked up on meth and listen to out of date 80s club music but there's no demographic for it so they rented a garage on my rental property instead and want to have house parties upstairs. it would seems as though i was supposed to like these people, but i don't want to hang out with them either and i actually think i may have strenuously avoided a couple of them at leland several years ago.

they keep yelling at me to "play skinny puppy", as though they rented my sound system. they did not rent my sound system and i will not take requests. however, i might play the cure or u2 instead of skinny puppy, just to piss them off.

i hope i don't have to run into these people again in real life. they're not people i'd want to be friends with. at all.

at the root cause of this problem is some immature 40+ year-old lesbians going through a midlife crisis that bought the house a few months ago. i don't care much for them, either.

i'm waiting the situation out, but these are not people i'd want to hang out with, remotely. these people are losers by every definition of the term. please don't think they're my friends, because they're not; i would find that embarrassing.

it sounds brash but the reality is that he's right and all informed observers know it: there will not be separate states, they will need to co-exist in one or perhaps even in a regional one.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/yossi-beilin-netanyahu-two-state-solution-1.7089416

i've been tripping out all over myself this evening thinking i'm hearing my own music playing in the washing machine or the fans, without being able to identify it or rule it out.

"there's a melody in everything. i'm trying to find a harmony but nothing seems to work. nothing seems to fit."

the truth is that it's reflective of how quiet it is in here, and how many appliances are running in a small space.

i'm lucky i haven't lost my mind yet.

"It would be unfair to forgive unpaid balances because in effect, you'd be penalizing the businesses that did what they needed to do to get those loans paid back,"

that may be true, but who cares? the government shouldn't be concerned with these childish visions of the economy as some kind of game with winners and losers. rather, it needs to look at the broader social consequences of potentially allowing thousands of businesses to default.

i don't have the data in front of me, but the government cannot allow a massive default to take place. stepping in might not be "fair" from some cutthroat perspective of competitive market capitalism, but it would be the responsible thing for a modern government to do in a modern economy. the government should behave responsibly in preventing default and tell the market advocates to fuck off.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/ceba-loan-not-extended-1.7085696

this is so utterly backwards.

tear the rotting dilapidated structures down and build affordable housing in their place.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/ottawa-heritage-building-rules-ontario-housing-1.7085560

yemen is a backwater and the houthis are hopeless barbarians. they'll fight with whoever their neighbours are for the foreseeable future.

the situation with hezbollah in lebanon is more newsworthy.

that said, southern yemen would also be a strategic place for us central command to put a naval base, across from where the chinese are setting up. it may be beneficial to just wipe them out and set up.

the fake left's insistence on supporting these barbarian houthi groups is an example of the worst kind of performative posteuring. it's just an excuse to criticize the saudis, and while the saudis deserve criticism, this is more or less the worst possible way to criticize them; of all the horrible things the saudis are doing every day, their bombing campaign of a legitimate terrorist group ought to be of least concern.

the reality is that the framing here is inaccurate. the americans are not launching strikes against some kind of rebel groups, they're retaliating to protect their shipping interests and are probably taking out literal iranian weapons sites. it is inconceivable that the united states could look the other way and ignore it's commercial interests getting bombed.

the reality is that the people that live in this region have a very long history of attacking trade interests, going back into antiquity. these are literal barbarians, and they've been bombing caravans for centuries.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/trudeau-poilievre-back-u-s-u-k-strikes-against-houthis-in-yemen-1.6723323

i don't like the fact that i have to do this, but it's the reality of the situation. i have a stalker that is obsessed with me that is keying in on specific things that are not real and that is currently living upstairs. i would surmise that the individual has some kind of schizophrenia which, combined with "medicinal" drug use, has led her to be unable to process reality. i tell her the same things over and over and she isn't mentally capable of processing them if they don't align with her preconceptions. she may have an educational background in some kind of psychology, as well, which is not helpful in understanding reality as it's just pseudoscientific babble. however, her training in freudian or lacanian or whatever pseudoscience may have left her so confused that she can't process reality and it may be a substantive hindrance in getting facts and evidence through to her.

i am not getting anywhere communicating with this woman; she is utterly hopeless. i need to go over her head.

the woman is in search of the "real inri", which she believes is represented by this picture, which i had on the inri youtube site falling off the mock narrative:

further, the woman has apparently been confused by the narrative mechanism, in that she seems to think that this is a recent picture and i'm narrating recent events, despite the clear dates on the blog posts. she is apparently looking for a young man named inri that looks like i did in this picture and is confused that she can't find one here in the apartment.

the narrative tells the story of my music production beginnings from my perspective as a young person, in the 90s. the picture on the web site is zoomed in of my face. i have zoomed the picture out to make it clear that the picture is not recent (and would not be expected to be, as it is representative of a young person telling a story that took place in the 90s, from their perspective), which you can tell by the clothes and the cars. the picture was taken outside of frank ryan middle school in ottawa in june, 1995 at my grade 8 graduation ceremony. the man in the di meola glasses holding my shoulders is my father, who was 38 years old at the time. i will turn 43 years old this week. my father died in 2013.

my father was actually an austrian celt according to the dna tests, but he had recent ancestry in northern italy. he also had some quebecois and some mikmaq ancestry and he seems to have had a secret russian ancestor that has been hard to trace. he did not have jewish or middle eastern ancestry, but my mother does.

as this was a formal event, and i was a young child, i am wearing the clothes i was told to wear. the shirt, tie and pants all belonged to my father.

this is consequently a picture of a little boy in his father's clothes graduating from the eighth grade. it is not a picture of a sexy man. however, the fact that what appears to be a lesbian think it is a sexy man demonstrates a fundamental truth about lesbians: lesbians are in truth actually frequently straight female pedophiles. they're actually into little boys because they suffer from arrested development, which is why they spend time with women that act and look like little boys. what they really want is their little boy grade school crush back, because they haven't emotionally progressed beyond that point, and they go for boyish women as substitutes for their broken little girl hearts. what most lesbian women really need is a strong man that will help them emotionally grow out of girlhood and into womanhood. lesbianism is really just an expression of immaturity.

for myself, i did not really go through puberty at all, but i went through a sort of partial puberty that made me look less boyish, until i went on hormones in my early 20s, which undid that. in this picture, at the age of 14, i truly hadn't started puberty at all and that is the reason i have boyish features that make me look "cute". it is very literally a picture of a little boy that hasn't hit puberty yet, and who has been dressed up in his father's clothes for a special event.

my father in that picture is younger than i am today, if you want a reality check as to what i would look like if i was a male. i would not be happy with that appearance. at all. at 43 years old, i certainly would not look much like i did as a 14 year old boy that had yet to go through puberty. the picture on the side is a little out of date because i had to shave my head in march, but is certainly closer to what i actually look like, due to years of estrogen therapy and a recent physical castration. i am still contemplating the value of vaginoplasty.

yet, the reality is that i really never looked much like my italian father, but rather always looked more like my irish-finnish grandmother or my jewish-swedish grandfather. it is unlikely that i'd actually look much like the man in that picture at all, regardless.

this woman upstairs is severely mentally ill and i want her removed from my existence. i will need to appeal to outside voices to do so, as she is incapable of learning new things or reacting to evidence and appears to be suffering from brain damage due to heavy drug use.

the right has a tendency to skew issues that are not about speech into speech issues by misunderstanding what free speech actually is. being asked not to speak on private property, for example, is not a free speech issue.

this is a free speech issue, and it is a part of a pattern of behaviour by the sitting government, which has made it apparent that it does not believe in free speech. freeland's nazi family background in very unfree ukraine, which has no history of democracy and no cultural history of support for human rights, make her proximity to power that much more concerning. this is the kind of thuggery that you expect from public officials in a backwards country like ukraine, not from the deputy prime minister of canada.

i have refrained from voting for trudeau, but i have not voted against him. i would vote against chrystia freeland. this behaviour is beneath the office that she holds; she has no business in government.

https://www.rebelnews.com/shock_footage_chrystia_freeland_bodyguards_assault_and_arrest_david_menzies_when_he_asks_her_a_question_stand_with_david

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trudeau has extremely close family ties to the aga khan, and he may even be his actual father. remember those pictures of trudeau beside the afghan comic? now, look up pictures of a young aga khan, the resemblance is much greater than to the elder trudeau and is actually uncanny. his mother was apparently all over him and had to settle for the prime minister on her father's insistence, but you'll note that trudeau retains a close allegiance to the aga khan and his religious group, which is iranian. this should be an overdue no-brainer, as the irgc fits every possible definition of a brutal terrorist group, but it may require a change of government, unfortunately.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/trudeau-says-canada-could-list-irgc-as-a-terrorist-organization-1.6717180